The Double Opt-In Standard

How to build a professional network without burning bridges.

Double Opt-in Diagram

The Problem with Forwarding Intros

The standard way to introduce two people is to send a mutual email: "Alice, meet Bob." This forces Alice into a social contract she didn't agree to. She either ignores it (looking rude), or takes a call she doesn't want (wasting time).

The Solution: Forward-Opt-In

The protocol is simple:

  1. Bob asks you for an intro to Alice.
  2. You tell Bob you will ask Alice.
  3. You email Alice privately, explaining why Bob wants to connect, and ask if she's open to it.
  4. If Alice says yes, you send the mutual intro. If she says no, you tell Bob "she's slammed right now."

The Economics of Attention

Attention is a zero-sum asset. In 2024, the average executive receives over 140 emails a day. A forced introduction is a tax on their attention.

Method Recipient Agency Relationship Risk
Direct Mutual Intro Zero High - Burns social capital
Double Opt-In Complete Zero - Preserves optionality

FAQ

Does this slow things down? Yes. That is the point. Friction is a filter for quality.

What if Alice doesn't reply? A non-reply is a "no". Do not chase.

Internal Links: Calculate Outreach ROI, Homepage, Managing Inbound Requests, Intro Template Generator.